Things you hear people say


I think we had a thread like this on the stat, basically when you overhear somebody say something funny or stupid just post what they said. I’ll start off

My grandma watching a football game-“these guys throw eachother around so much I don’t see how they play, whoever scores it’s just sheer luck”
Lol wut


Heard this on campus awhile ago:

Girl #1: “What the **** is a quiche?”
Girl #2: “Idk it’s probably Mexican I think.”


I heard this one at an art museum a couple years ago.

Guy on a pay phone, “you strangled a what?.. You strangled a cat?”


74 year old grandfather: that guy is a faggot
95 year old great grandmother: what did you say?
grandpa: i said he’s a fag
great grandma: you can’t say that bill. you better watch yourself. they’ll arrest you for talking like that in public
grandpa: i can say whatever the hell i want. he’s a fag, and if he was a nigger i’d call him that too.


“I would rather sodomize my coffee” -One of my friends/teammates

I would give you the context of this quote but I forgot in the laughter that followed.


“Finish inside of me.”

One teammate to another. Supposedly, he was saying that the teammate should finish on the inside of him on the track when doing strides.


My stepdad: I think you(as in, me) have a substance abuse problem. (In reference to alcohol)

I laughed on the inside.


Guy ahead of me in the Pizza line: Do you have anything vegetarian?
Pizza guy (old italian guy): What, are you a fag?
Guy ahead of me in the Pizza line: yeah
Pizza guy: well, uh…


Tony Dungee during Saints v. Seahawks post-game show: “(I forgot the players name) caught some big balls today.”

I lol’d a bit


so you’re like 12? or you’ve just never heard sports commentary before…:confused:


At a good friend’s b-day party while blowing out the candles (with most of his family, including great-grandma, grandma, etc…)

peanut gallery: k****(friend’s gf), why are you blowing out the candles it’s not your birthday?

K****:You know how much i love blowing

peanut gallery & family: -__-


Brandon Stokeley

Bob Costas: “The Jets are going to have to put the ball in the hands of Mark Sanchez who has been high all night.”


On a tour of a college as we walk past a group of guys -

Random guy: To make a long story short, that’s the last time I shower with my dad.


“Maintained possession with his third foot down.”

With his pen1s? :eek:


Walking by a runner at a track meet 3 years ago(don’t remember his exact words), “so I was with my dad and he grabbed my tool”

Pretty sure he said it just to **** with us, but it was still hilarious.


when we’re warming up and cooling down whenever we run past people we just say the most random weird **** out of nowhere that sound like a conversation so people are left wondering what the hell those crazy kids are talking about


One the phone yesterday with a customer

“10pm in the morning or the afternoon?”


lol fail on so many levels.


i would always do this if i were walking past a campus tour group.


yea I’m def gonna start doing this more at meets