Things you hear people say


#1

I think we had a thread like this on the stat, basically when you overhear somebody say something funny or stupid just post what they said. I’ll start off

My grandma watching a football game-“these guys throw eachother around so much I don’t see how they play, whoever scores it’s just sheer luck”
Lol wut


#2

Heard this on campus awhile ago:

Girl #1: “What the **** is a quiche?”
Girl #2: “Idk it’s probably Mexican I think.”


#3

I heard this one at an art museum a couple years ago.

Guy on a pay phone, “you strangled a what?.. You strangled a cat?”


#4

74 year old grandfather: that guy is a faggot
95 year old great grandmother: what did you say?
grandpa: i said he’s a fag
great grandma: you can’t say that bill. you better watch yourself. they’ll arrest you for talking like that in public
grandpa: i can say whatever the hell i want. he’s a fag, and if he was a nigger i’d call him that too.


#5

“I would rather sodomize my coffee” -One of my friends/teammates

I would give you the context of this quote but I forgot in the laughter that followed.


#6

“Finish inside of me.”

One teammate to another. Supposedly, he was saying that the teammate should finish on the inside of him on the track when doing strides.


#7

My stepdad: I think you(as in, me) have a substance abuse problem. (In reference to alcohol)

I laughed on the inside.


#8

Guy ahead of me in the Pizza line: Do you have anything vegetarian?
Pizza guy (old italian guy): What, are you a fag?
Guy ahead of me in the Pizza line: yeah
Pizza guy: well, uh…


#9

Tony Dungee during Saints v. Seahawks post-game show: “(I forgot the players name) caught some big balls today.”

I lol’d a bit


#10

so you’re like 12? or you’ve just never heard sports commentary before…:confused:


#11

At a good friend’s b-day party while blowing out the candles (with most of his family, including great-grandma, grandma, etc…)

peanut gallery: k****(friend’s gf), why are you blowing out the candles it’s not your birthday?

K****:You know how much i love blowing

peanut gallery & family: -__-


#12

Brandon Stokeley

Bob Costas: “The Jets are going to have to put the ball in the hands of Mark Sanchez who has been high all night.”


#13

On a tour of a college as we walk past a group of guys -

Random guy: To make a long story short, that’s the last time I shower with my dad.


#14

“Maintained possession with his third foot down.”

With his pen1s? :eek:


#15

Walking by a runner at a track meet 3 years ago(don’t remember his exact words), “so I was with my dad and he grabbed my tool”

Pretty sure he said it just to **** with us, but it was still hilarious.


#16

when we’re warming up and cooling down whenever we run past people we just say the most random weird **** out of nowhere that sound like a conversation so people are left wondering what the hell those crazy kids are talking about


#17

One the phone yesterday with a customer

“10pm in the morning or the afternoon?”


#18

lol fail on so many levels.


#19

i would always do this if i were walking past a campus tour group.


#20

yea I’m def gonna start doing this more at meets